Last week, we talked about setting boundaries, and learning to say no is an important part of setting boundaries. Learning to say no–especially if you’re a people-pleaser and fixer like I am–is not an easy habit to develop, but it is an necessary part of self-care. Saying no isn’t selfish! You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. There’s a reason they tell you on an airplane to put your own oxygen mask on before helping anyone else. You can’t help anyone else if you pass out!
Learn that no is a complete sentence. If you choose to explain, go for it, but remember that you have every right to say no, and you don’t own anyone an explanation. If someone asks you a question, and no is not an acceptable answer to that question, s/he isn’t really asking. S/he is emotionally blackmailing you, and that’s not ok!
I have a policy when it comes to saying yes. If my gut response to something isn’t “Hell yes!”, then I say no. Why? Because I have limited time, and I only want to spend that time doing things that excite me and make me want to do a good job. Something to consider… If you say no, there may be someone else out there who would be excited by the opportunity, and every time you say no, you make more room in your life for the things you love.
Remember… Saying no is an act of self-care!